At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that: "If GM had
kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only work on five
percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single "general car failure" warning light, and you would
have to press "OK" when it came on.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size
butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?"
before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for
investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would
have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off
the engine.
